Synod14 - "Relatio Synodi" of the III
Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops: “Pastoral
Challenges to the Family in the Context of Evangelization” (5-19 October
2014), 18.10.2014
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
Part I
Listening: The Context and the Challenges of the Family
The Socio-Cultural Context
The Importance of Affectivity in Life
Pastoral Challenges
Part II
Looking at Christ: The Gospel of the Family
Looking at Jesus and Divine Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
The Family in the God’s Salvific Plan
The Family in the Church’s Documents
Indissolubility of Matrimony and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
The Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy Towards Broken and Fragile Families
Part III
Facing the Situation: Pastoral Perspectives
Proclaiming the Gospel of the Family Today in Various Contexts
Guiding Engaged Couples in Their Preparation for Marriage
Accompanying Married Couples in the Initial Years of Marriage
Pastoral Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
Caring for Broken Families (Separated, Divorced and Not Remarried,
Divorced and Remarried, Single-Parent Families)
Pastoral Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
The Transmission of Life and the Challenges of the Declining Birthrate
Upbringing and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
Conclusion
* * *
Introduction
1. The Synod of Bishops, gathered around the Holy Father,
turned its thoughts to all the families of the world, each with its
joys, difficulties and hopes. In a special way, the Assembly felt a duty
to give thanks to the Lord for the generosity and faithfulness of so
many Christian families in responding to their vocation and mission,
which they fulfill with joy and faith, even when living as a family
requires facing obstacles, misunderstandings and suffering. The entire
Church and this Synod express to these families our appreciation,
gratitude and encouragement. During the prayer vigil held in St Peter’s
Square on 4 October 2014 in preparation for the Synod on the family,
Pope Francis evoked, in a simple yet concrete way, the centrality [of
the experience] of the family in everyone’s lives: “Evening falls on our
assembly. It is the hour at which one willingly returns home to meet at
the same table, in the depth of affection, of the good that has been
done and received, of the encounters which warm the heart and make it
grow, good wine which hastens the unending feast in the days of man. It
is also the weightiest hour for one who finds himself face to face with
his own loneliness, in the bitter twilight of shattered dreams and
broken plans; how many people trudge through the day in the blind alley
of resignation, of abandonment, even resentment: in how many homes the
wine of joy has been less plentiful, and therefore, also the zest — the
very wisdom — for life […]. Let us make our prayer heard for one another
this evening, a prayer for all.”
2. Within the family are joys and trials, deep love and
relationships which, at times, can be wounded. The family is truly the
“school of humanity” (
Gaudium et Spes, 52), which is much needed
today. Despite the many signs of crisis in the family institution in
various areas of the “global village”, the desire to marry and form a
family remains vibrant, especially among young people, and serves as the
basis of the Church’s need to proclaim untiringly and with profound
conviction the “Gospel of the Family”, entrusted to her together with
the revelation of God’s love in Jesus Christ and ceaselessly taught by
the Fathers, the masters of spirituality and the Church’s Magisterium.
The family is uniquely important to the Church and in these times, when
all believers are invited to think of others rather than themselves, the
family needs to be rediscovered as the essential agent in the work of
evangelization.
3. At the Extraordinary General Assembly of October, 2014,
the Bishop of Rome called upon the Synod of Bishops to reflect upon the
critical and invaluable reality of the family, a reflection which will
then be pursued in greater depth at its Ordinary General Assembly
scheduled to take place in October, 2015, as well as during the full
year between the two synodal events. “The
convenire in unum
around the Bishop of Rome is already an event of grace, in which
episcopal collegiality is made manifest in a path of spiritual and
pastoral discernment.” These were the words used by Pope Francis in
describing the synodal experience and indicating the task at hand: to
read both the signs of God and human history, in a twofold yet unique
faithfulness which this reading involves.
4. With these words in mind, we have gathered together the
results of our reflections and our discussions in the following three
parts:
listening, looking at the situation of the family today in all its complexities, both lights and shadows;
looking, our gaze
is
fixed on Christ to re-evaluate, with renewed freshness and enthusiasm,
what revelation, transmitted in the Church’s faith, tells us about the
beauty and dignity of the family; and
facing the situation, with an eye on the Lord Jesus, to discern how the Church and society can renew their commitment to the family.
PART I
Listening: the context and challenges of the family
The Socio-Cultural Context
5. Faithful to Christ’s teaching, we look to the reality of
the family today in all its complexity, with both its lights and
shadows. We turn our thoughts to parents, grandparents, brothers and
sisters, close and distant relatives and the bonds between two families
forged by marriage. Anthropological and cultural changes in our times
influence all aspects of life and require an analytic and diversified
approach. The positive aspects are first to be highlighted, namely, a
greater freedom of expression and a better recognition of the rights of
women and children, at least in some parts of the world. On the other
hand, equal consideration needs to be given to the growing danger
represented by a troubling individualism which deforms family bonds and
ends up considering each component of the family as an isolated unit,
leading, in some cases, to the idea that a person is formed according to
one’s own desires, which are considered absolute. Added to this is the
crisis of faith, witnessed among a great many Catholics, which
oftentimes underlies the crisis in marriage and the family.
6. One of the poorest aspects of contemporary culture is
loneliness, arising from the absence of God in a person’s life and the
fragility of relationships. There is also a general feeling of
powerlessness in the face of socio-cultural realities which oftentimes
end in crushing families. Such is the case in increasing instances of
poverty and unemployment in the workplace, which at times is a real
nightmare or in overwhelming financial difficulties, which discourage
the young from marrying. Families often feel abandoned by the
disinterest and lack of attention by institutions. The negative impact
on the organization of society is clear, as seen in the demographic
crisis, in the difficulty of raising children, in a hesitancy to
welcome new life and in considering the presence of older persons as a
burden. All these can affect a person’s emotional balance, which can
sometimes lead to violence. The State has the responsibility to pass
laws and create work to ensure the future of young people and help them
realize their plan of forming a family.
7. Some cultural and religious contexts pose particular
challenges. In some places, polygamy is still being practiced and in
places with long traditions, the custom of “marriage in stages”. In
other places, “arranged marriages” is an enduring practice. In
countries where Catholicism is the minority, many mixed and
interreligious marriages take place, all with their inherent
difficulties in terms of jurisprudence, Baptism, the upbringing of
children and the mutual respect for each other’s religious freedom, not
to mention the danger of relativism or indifference. At the same time,
such marriages can exhibit great potential in favouring the spirit of
ecumenism and interreligious dialogue in a harmonious living of diverse
religions in the same place. Even outside Western societies, many places
are witnessing an overall increase in the practice of cohabitation
before marriage or simply cohabitating with no intention of a legally
binding relationship.
8. Many children are born outside marriage, in great
numbers in some countries, many of whom subsequently grow up with just
one of their parents or in a blended or reconstituted family. Divorces
are increasing, many times taking place solely because of economic
reasons. Oftentimes, children are a source of contention between parents
and become the real victims of family break-ups. Fathers who are often
absent from their families, not simply for economic reasons, need to
assume more clearly their responsibility for children and the family.
The dignity of women still needs to be defended and promoted. In fact,
in many places today, simply being a woman is a source of discrimination
and the gift of motherhood is often penalized, rather than esteemed.
Not to be overlooked is the increasing violence against women, where
they become victims, unfortunately, often within families and as a
result of the serious and widespread practice genital mutilation in some
cultures. The sexual exploitation of children is still another
scandalous and perverse reality in present-day society. Societies
characterized by violence due to war, terrorism or the presence of
organized crime are witnessing the deterioration of the family, above
all in big cities, where, in their peripheral areas, the so-called
phenomenon of “street-children” is on the rise. Furthermore, migration
is another sign of the times to be faced and understood in terms of its
onerous consequences to family life.
The Importance of Affectivity in Life
9. Faced with the afore-mentioned social situation, people
in many parts of the world are feeling a great need to take care of
themselves, to know themselves better, to live in greater harmony with
their feelings and sentiments and to seek to live their affectivity in
the best manner possible. These proper aspirations can lead to a desire
to put greater effort into building relationships of self-giving and
creative reciprocity, which are empowering and supportive like those
within a family. In this case, however, individualism and living only
for one’s self is a real danger. The challenge for the Church is to
assist couples in the maturation and development of their affectivity
through fostering dialogue, virtue and trust in the merciful love of
God. The full commitment required in marriage can be a strong antidote
to the temptation of a selfish individualism.
10. Cultural tendencies in today’s world seem to set no limits
on a person’s affectivity in which every aspect needs to be explored,
even those which are highly complex. Indeed, nowadays a person’s
affectivity is very fragile; a narcissistic, unstable or changeable
affectivity does not always allow a person to grow to maturity.
Particularly worrisome is the spread of pornography and the
commercialization of the body, fostered also by a misuse of the internet
and reprehensible situations where people are forced into prostitution.
In this context, couples are often uncertain, hesitant and struggling
to find ways to grow. Many tend to remain in the early stages of their
affective and sexual life. A crisis in a couple’s relationship
destabilizes the family and may lead, through separation and divorce, to
serious consequences for adults, children and society as a whole,
weakening its individual and social bonds. The decline in population,
due to a mentality against having children and promoted by the world
politics of reproductive health, creates not only a situation in which
the relationship between generations is no longer ensured but also the
danger that, over time, this decline will lead to economic
impoverishment and a loss of hope in the future.
Pastoral Challenges
11. In this regard, the Church is conscious of the need to
offer a particularly meaningful word of hope, which must be done based
on the conviction that the human person comes from God, and that,
consequently, any reconsideration of the great question on the meaning
of human existence can be responsive to humanity's most profound
expectations. The great values of marriage and the Christian family
correspond to the search that characterizes human existence, even in
these times of individualism and hedonism. People need to be accepted in
the concrete circumstances of life. We need to know how to support them
in their searching and to encourage them in their hunger for God and
their wish to feel fully part of the Church, also including those who
have experienced failure or find themselves in a variety of situations.
The Christian message always contains in itself the reality and the
dynamic of mercy and truth which meet in Christ.
PART II
Looking at Christ: the Gospel of the Family
Looking at Jesus and the Divine Pedagogy in the History of Salvation
12. In order to “walk among contemporary challenges, the
decisive condition is to maintain a fixed gaze on Jesus Christ, to pause
in contemplation and in adoration of his Face. ... Indeed, every time
we return to the source of the Christian experience, new paths and
undreamed of possibilities open up” (Pope Francis,
Discourse, 4
October 2014). Jesus looked upon the women and the men he met with love
and tenderness, accompanying their steps with patience and mercy, in
proclaiming the demands of the Kingdom of God.
13. Since the order of creation is determined by its
orientation towards Christ, a distinction needs to be made without
separating the various levels through which God communicates to humanity
the grace of the covenant. By reason of the divine pedagogy, according
to which the order of creation develops through successive stages to the
moment of redemption, we need to understand the newness of the
Sacrament of Marriage in continuity with natural marriage in its origin,
that is, the manner of God’s saving action in both creation and the
Christian life. In creation, because all things were made through Christ
and for him (cf.
Col 1:16), Christians “gladly and reverently
lay bare the seeds of the Word which lie hidden among their fellows;
they ought to follow attentively the profound changes which are taking
place among peoples” (
Ad Gentes, 11). In the Christian life, the reception of Baptism brings the believer into the Church through the
domestic church,
namely, the family; thus beginning “a dynamic process [which] develops,
one which advances gradually with the progressive integration of the
gifts of God” (
Familiaris Consortio, 9), in an ongoing conversion to a love which saves us from sin and gives us fullness of life.
14. Jesus himself, referring to the original plan of the human
couple, reaffirms the indissoluble union between a man and a woman and
says to the Pharisees that “for your hardness of heart Moses allowed you
to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so”(
Mt 19: 8). The indissolubility of marriage (“what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder”
Mt
19:6), is not to be understood as a “yoke” imposed on persons but as a
“gift” to a husband and wife united in marriage. In this way, Jesus
shows how God’s humbling act of coming to earth might always accompany
the human journey and might heal and transform a hardened heart with his
grace, orientating it towards its benefit, by way of the cross. The
Gospels make clear that Jesus’ example is paradigmatic for the Church.
In fact, Jesus was born in a family; he began to work his signs at the
wedding of Cana; and announced the meaning of marriage as the fullness
of revelation which restores the original divine plan (
Mt 19:3).
At the same time, however, he put what he taught into practice and
manifested the true meaning of mercy, clearly illustrated in his meeting
with the Samaritan woman (
Jn 4:1-30) and with the adulteress (
Jn
8:1-11). By looking at the sinner with love, Jesus leads the person to
repentance and conversion (“Go and sin no more”), which is the basis for
forgiveness.
The Family in God’s Salvific Plan
15. The words of eternal life, which Jesus gave to his
disciples, included the teaching on marriage and the family. Jesus’
teaching allows us to distinguish three basic stages in God's plan for
marriage and the family. In the beginning, there is the original family,
when God the Creator instituted the first marriage between Adam and Eve
as the solid foundation of the family. God not only created human
beings male and female (
Gen 1:27), but he also blessed them so they might be fruitful and multiply (
Gen 1:28). For this reason, “a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and the two become one flesh” (
Gen
2:24). This union was corrupted by sin and became the historical form
of marriage among the People of God, for which Moses granted the
possibility of issuing a bill of divorce (cf.
Dt 24: 1ff.). This
was the principal practice in the time of Jesus. With Christ’s coming
and his reconciling a fallen world through his redemption, the period
begun by Moses ended.
16. Jesus, who reconciled all things in himself, restored marriage and the family to their original form (
Mk 10:1-12). Marriage and the family have been redeemed by Christ (
Eph
5:21-32), restored in the image of the Holy Trinity, the mystery from
which every true love flows. The spousal covenant, originating in
creation and revealed in the history of salvation, receives its full
meaning in Christ and his Church. Through his Church, Christ bestows on
marriage and the family the grace necessary to witness to the love of
God and to live the life of communion. The Gospel of the Family spans
the history of the world from the creation of man in the image and
likeness of God (cf.
Gn 1: 26-27) until it reaches, at the end of
time, its fulfilment in the mystery of the Christ’s Covenant with the
wedding of Lamb (cf.
Rev 19: 9) (cf. John Paul II,
Catechesis on Human Love).
The Family in the Church’s Documents
17. “Throughout the centuries, the Church has maintained her
constant teaching on marriage and family. One of the highest expressions
of this teaching was proposed by the Second Vatican Council, in the
Pastoral Constitution
Gaudium et Spes, which devotes an entire chapter to promoting the dignity of marriage and the family (cf.
Gaudium et Spes, 47-52). This document defined marriage as a community of life and love (cf.
Gaudium et Spes,
48), placing love at the center of the family and manifesting, at the
same time, the truth of this love in counter distinction to the various
forms of reductionism present in contemporary culture. The ‘true love
between husband and wife’ (
Gaudium et Spes, 49) implies a mutual
gift of self and includes and integrates the sexual and affective
aspects, according to the divine plan (cf.
Gaudium et Spes, 48-49). Furthermore,
Gaudium et Spes,
48 emphasizes the grounding of the spouses in Christ. Christ the Lord
‘comes into the lives of married Christians through the Sacrament of
Matrimony,’ and remains with them. In the Incarnation, he assumes human
love, purifies it and brings it to fulfillment. Through his Spirit, he
enables the bride and groom to live their love and makes that love
permeate every part of their lives of faith, hope and charity. In this
way, the bride and groom are, so to speak, consecrated and, through his
grace, they build up the Body of Christ and are a domestic church (cf.
Lumen Gentium,
11), so that the Church, in order fully to understand her mystery,
looks to the Christian family, which manifests her in a real way” (
Instrumentum Laboris, 4).
18. “In the wake of Vatican II, the papal Magisterium has
further refined the doctrine on marriage and the family. In a special
way, Blessed Pope Paul VI, in his Encyclical
Humanae Vitae,
displayed the intimate bond between conjugal love and the generation of
life. Pope St. John Paul II devoted special attention to the family in
his catechesis on human love, his
Letter to Families (
Gratissimam Sane) and, especially, his Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio.
In these documents, the Pope called the family the ‘way of the Church,’
gave an overview on the vocation of man and woman to love and proposed
the basic guidelines for the pastoral care of the family and the
presence of the family in society. In specifically treating ‘conjugal
love’ (cf.
Familiaris Consortio, 13), he described how the
spouses, through their mutual love, receive the gift of the Spirit of
Christ and live their call to holiness” (
Instrumentum Laboris, 5)
19. “Pope Benedict XVI, in his Encyclical
Deus Caritas Est,
again took up the topic of the truth of the love between man and woman,
which is fully understood only in light of the love of Christ Crucified
(cf.
Deus Caritas Est, 2). The Pope emphasized that ‘marriage
based on an exclusive and definitive love becomes the icon of the
relationship between God and his people and vice versa. God's way of
loving becomes the measure of human love’ (
Deus Caritas Est, 11). Moreover, in his Encyclical
Caritas in Veritate, he emphasizes the importance of love as the principle of life in society (cf.
Caritas in Veritate, 44), the place where a person learns to experience the common good” (
Instrumentum Laboris, 6).
20. “Pope Francis, in his Encyclical
Lumen Fidei,
treating the connection between the family and faith, writes:
‘Encountering Christ, letting themselves (young people) be caught up in
and guided by his love, enlarges the horizons of existence, gives it a
firm hope which will not disappoint. Faith is no refuge for the
fainthearted, but something which enhances our lives. It makes us aware
of a magnificent calling, the vocation of love. It assures us that this
love is trustworthy and worth embracing, for it is based on God’s
faithfulness which is stronger than our every weakness’ (
Lumen Fidei, 53)” (
Instrumentum Laboris, 7).
The Indissolubility of Marriage and the Joy of Sharing Life Together
21. Mutual self-giving in the Sacrament of Marriage is grounded
in the grace of Baptism, which establishes in all its recipients a
foundational covenant with Christ in the Church. In accepting each other
and with Christ’s grace, the engaged couple promises a total
self-giving, faithfulness and openness to new life. The married couple
recognizes these elements as constitutive in marriage, gifts offered to
them by God, which they take seriously in their mutual commitment, in
God’s name and in the presence of the Church. Faith facilitates the
possibility of assuming the benefits of marriage as commitments which
are sustainable through the help of the grace of the Sacrament. God
consecrates the love of husband and wife and confirms the indissoluble
character of their love, offering them assistance to live their
faithfulness, mutual complementarity and openness to new life.
Therefore, the Church looks to married couples as the heart of the
entire family, which, in turn, looks to Jesus.
22. From the same perspective, in keeping with the teaching of
the Apostle who said that the whole of creation was planned in Christ
and for him (cf.
Col 1:16), the Second Vatican Council wished to
express appreciation for natural marriage and the valid elements present
in other religions (cf.
Nostra Aetate, 2) and cultures, despite their limitations and shortcomings (cf.
Redemptoris Missio, 55). The presence of the seeds of the Word in these cultures (cf.
Ad Gentes,
11) could even be applied, in some ways, to marriage and the family in
so many societies and non-Christian peoples. Valid elements, therefore,
exist in some forms outside of Christian marriage — based on a stable
and true relationship of a man and a woman — which, in any case,
might be oriented towards Christian marriage. With an eye to the popular
wisdom of different peoples and cultures, the Church also recognizes
this type of family as the basic, necessary and fruitful unit for
humanity’s life together.
The Truth and Beauty of the Family and Mercy Towards Broken and Fragile Families
23. With inner joy and deep comfort, the Church looks to
families who remain faithful to the teachings of the Gospel, encouraging
them and thanking them for the testimony they offer. In fact, they
witness, in a credible way, to the beauty of an indissoluble marriage,
while always remaining faithful to each other. Within the family, “which
could be called a domestic church” (
Lumen Gentium, 11), a person
begins a Church experience of communion among persons, which reflects,
through grace, the Mystery of the Holy Trinity. “In a family, a person
learns endurance, the joy of work, fraternal love, and generosity in
forgiving others — repeatedly at times — and above all divine
worship in prayer and the offering of one's life” (
Catechism of the Catholic Church,
1657). The Holy Family of Nazareth is a wondrous model in whose school
we “understand why we have to maintain spiritual discipline, if we wish
to follow the teachings of the Gospel and become Christ’s disciples”
(Blessed Pope Paul VI,
Address at Nazareth, 5 January 1964). The
Gospel of the Family also nourishes the seeds which are still waiting to
grow; and serves as the basis for caring for those trees which might
have withered and need treatment.
24. The Church, a sure teacher and caring mother, recognizes
that the only marriage bond for those who are baptized is sacramental
and any breach of it is against the will of God. At the same time, the
Church is conscious of the weakness of many of her children who are
struggling in their journey of faith. “Consequently, without detracting
from the evangelical ideal, they need to accompany with mercy and
patience the eventual stages of personal growth as these progressively
occur. [...] A small step in the midst of great human limitations can be
more pleasing to God than a life which outwardly appears in order and
passes the day without confronting great difficulties. Everyone needs to
be touched by the comfort and attraction of God’s saving love, which is
mysteriously at work in each person, above and beyond their faults and
failings”(
Gaudium Evangelii, 44).
25. In considering a pastoral approach towards people who have
contracted a civil marriage, who are divorced and remarried or simply
living together, the Church has the responsibility of helping them
understand the divine pedagogy of grace in their lives and offering them
assistance so they can reach the fullness of the God’s plan for them.
Looking to Christ, whose light illumines every person (cf.
Jn 1: 9;
Gaudium et Spes,
22), the Church turns with love to those who participate in her life in
an incomplete manner, recognizing that the grace of God works also in
their lives by giving them the courage to do good, to care for one
another in love and to be of service to the community in which they live
and work.
26. The Church looks with concern at the distrust of many young
people in relation to a commitment in marriage and suffers at the haste
with which many of the faithful decide to put an end to the obligation
they assumed and to take on another. These lay people, who are members
of the Church, need pastoral attention which is merciful and
encouraging, so they might adequately determine their situation. Young
people, who are baptized, should be encouraged to understand that the
Sacrament of Marriage can enrich their prospects of love and they can be
sustained by the grace of Christ in the Sacrament and by the
possibility of participating fully in the life of the Church.
27. In this regard, a new aspect of family ministry is
requiring attention today — the reality of civil marriages between a
man and woman, traditional marriages and, taking into consideration the
differences involved, even cohabitation. When a union reaches a
particular stability, legally recognized, characterized by deep
affection and responsibility for children and showing an ability to
overcome trials, these unions can offer occasions for guidance with an
eye towards the eventual celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage.
Oftentimes, a couple lives together without the possibility of a future
marriage and without any intention of a legally binding relationship.
28. .In accordance with Christ’s mercy, the Church must
accompany with attention and care the weakest of her children, who show
signs of a wounded and lost love, by restoring in them hope and
confidence, like the beacon of a lighthouse in a port or a torch carried
among the people to enlighten those who have lost their way or who are
in the midst of a storm. Conscious that the most merciful thing is to
tell the truth in love, we go beyond compassion. Merciful love, as it
attracts and unites, transforms and elevates. It is an invitation to
conversion. We understand the Lord’s attitude in the same way; he does
not condemn the adulterous woman, but asks her to sin no more (
Jn 8: 1-11).
Part III
Facing the Situation: Pastoral Perspectives
Proclaiming the Gospel of the Family Today in Various Contexts
29. Discussion at the synod has allowed for agreement on some
of the more urgent pastoral needs to be addressed in the particular
Churches, in communion
cum Petro et sub Petro. Proclaiming the
Gospel of the Family is urgently needed in the work of evangelization.
The Church has to carry this out with the tenderness of a mother and the
clarity of a teacher (cf.
Eph 4: 15), in faithfulness to the mercy displayed in Christ’s
kenosis. Truth became flesh in human weakness, not to condemn it but to save it (cf.
Gn 3: 16, 17).
30. Evangelizing is the shared responsibility of all God’s
people, each according to one’s ministry and charism. Without the
joyous testimony of married people and families, proclamation, even if
done in its proper way, risks being misunderstood or lost in a flurry of
words which is characteristic of society today (cf.
Novo Millennio Ineunte,
50). On various occasions, the synod fathers emphasized that Catholic
families, by reason of the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage, are
called upon to be the
active agents in every pastoral activity on behalf of the family.
31. The primacy of grace needs to be highlighted and,
consequently, the possibilities which the Spirit provides in the
Sacrament. It is a question of allowing people to experience that the
Gospel of the Family is a joy which “fills hearts and lives”, because in
Christ we are “set free from sin, sorrow, inner emptiness, and
loneliness” (
Evangelii Gaudium, 1). Bearing in mind the Parable of the Sower (cf.
Mt
13; 3), our task is to cooperate in the sowing; the rest is God’s work;
nor must we forget that, in preaching about the family, the Church is a
sign of contradiction.
32. Consequently, this work calls for
missionary conversion
by everyone in the Church, that is, not stopping at proclaiming a
message which is perceived to be merely theoretical, with no connection
to people’s real problems. We must continually bear in mind that the
crisis of faith has led to a crisis in marriage and the family and,
consequently, the transmission of faith itself from parents to children
has often been interrupted. If we confront the situation with a strong
faith, the imposition of certain cultural perspectives which weaken the
family is of no importance.
33. Conversion also needs to be seen in the language we use,
so that it might prove to be effectively meaningful. Proclamation needs
to create an experience where the Gospel of the Family responds to the
deepest expectations of a person: a response to each’s dignity and
complete fulfillment in reciprocity, communion and fruitfulness. This
does not consist in merely presenting a set of rules but in espousing
values, which respond to the needs of those who find themselves today,
even in the most secularized of countries.
34. The Word of God is the source of life and spirituality for
the family. All pastoral work on behalf of the family must allow people
to be interiorly fashioned and formed as members of the domestic church
through the Church’s prayerful reading of Sacred Scripture. The Word of
God is not only good news in a person’s private life, but also a
criterion of judgment and a light in discerning the various challenges
which married couples and families encounter.
35. At the same time, many synod fathers insisted on a more
positive approach to the richness of various religious experiences,
without overlooking the inherent difficulties. In these different
religious realities and in the great cultural diversity which
characterizes countries, the positive possibilities should be
appreciated first and then on this basis evaluate their limitations and
deficiencies.
36. Christian marriage is a vocation which is undertaken with
due preparation in a journey of faith with a proper process of
discernment and is not to be considered only a cultural tradition or
social or legal requirement. Therefore, formation is needed to accompany
the person and couple in such a way that the real-life experience of
the entire ecclesial community can be added to the teaching of the
contents of the faith.
37. The synod fathers repeatedly called for a thorough renewal
of the Church’s pastoral practice in light of the Gospel of the Family
and replacing its current emphasis on individuals. For this reason, the
synod fathers repeatedly insisted on renewal in the training of priests
and other pastoral workers with a greater involvement of families.
38. They equally highlighted the fact that evangelization
needs to clearly denounce cultural, social, political and economic
factors, such as the excessive importance given to market logic which
prevents authentic family life and leads to discrimination, poverty,
exclusion, and violence. Consequently, dialogue and cooperation need to
be developed with the social entities and encouragement given to
Christian lay people who are involved in the cultural and
socio-political fields.
Guiding Engaged Couples in Their Preparation for Marriage
39. The complex social reality and the changes affecting the
family today require a greater effort on the part of the whole Christian
community in preparing those who are about to be married. The
importance of the virtues needs to be included, among these chastity
which is invaluable in the genuine growth of love between persons. In
this regard, the synod fathers jointly insisted on the need to involve
more extensively the entire community by favouring the witness of
families themselves and including preparation for marriage in the course
of Christian Initiation as well as emphasizing the connection between
marriage and the other sacraments. Likewise, they felt that specific
programmes were needed in preparing couples for marriage, programmes
which create a true experience of participation in ecclesial life and
thoroughly treat the various aspects of family life.
Accompanying the Married Couple in the Initial Years of Marriage
40. The initial years of marriage are a vital and sensitive
period during which couples become more aware of the challenges and
meaning of married life. Consequently, pastoral accompaniment needs to
go beyond the actual celebration of the Sacrament (
Familiaris Consortio,
Part III). In this regard, experienced couples are of great importance
in any pastoral activity. The parish is the ideal place for these
experienced couples to be of service to younger couples. Married couples
need encouragement in a basic openness to the great gift of children.
The importance of
a family spirituality and prayer needs emphasis
so couples might be encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in
their spiritual life and solidarity in the concrete demands of life.
Meaningful liturgies, devotional practices and the Eucharist celebrated
for entire families were mentioned as vital factors in fostering
evangelization through the family.
Pastoral Care for Couples Civilly Married or Living Together
41. While continuing to proclaim and foster Christian
marriage, the Synod also encourages pastoral discernment of the
situations of a great many who no longer live this reality. Entering
into pastoral dialogue with these persons is needed to distinguish
elements in their lives which can lead to a greater openness to the
Gospel of Marriage in its fullness. Pastors ought to identify elements
which can foster evangelization and human and spiritual growth. A new
element in today’s pastoral activity is a sensitivity to the positive
aspects of civilly celebrated marriages and, with obvious differences,
cohabitation. While clearly presenting the Christian message, the Church
also needs to indicate the constructive elements in these situations
which do not yet or no longer correspond to it.
42. The synod fathers also noted in many countries an “an increasing number of people live together
ad experimentum, in unions which have not been religiously or civilly recognized” (
Instrumentum Laboris,
81). In some countries, this occurs especially in traditional marriages
which are arranged between families and often celebrated in different
stages. Other countries are witnessing a continual increase in the
number of those who, after having lived together for a long period,
request the celebration of marriage in Church. Simply to live together
is often a choice based on a general attitude opposed to anything
institutional or definitive; it can also be done while awaiting more
security in life (a steady job and income). Finally, in some countries
de facto
marriages are very numerous, not because of a rejection of Christian
values concerning the family and matrimony but primarily because
celebrating a marriage is too expensive. As a result, material poverty
leads people into
de facto unions.
43. All these situations require a constructive response,
seeking to transform them into opportunities which can lead to an actual
marriage and a family in conformity with the Gospel. These couples
need to be provided for and guided patiently and discreetly. With this
in mind, the witness of authentic Christian families is particularly
appealing and important as agents in the evangelization of the family.
Caring for Broken families (Persons who are Separated, Divorced, Divorced and Remarried and Single-Parent Families)
44. Married couples with problems in their relationship should
be able to count on the assistance and guidance of the Church. The
pastoral work of charity and mercy seeks to help persons recover and
restore relationships. Experience shows that with proper assistance and
acts of reconciliation, though grace, a great percentage of troubled
marriages find a solution in a satisfying manner. To know how to forgive
and to feel forgiven is a basic experience in family life. Forgiveness
between husband and wife permits a couple to experience a never-ending
love which does not pass away (cf.
1 Cor 13:8). At times, this is
difficult, but those who have received God’s forgiveness are given the
strength to offer a genuine forgiveness which regenerates persons.
45. The necessity for courageous pastoral choices was
particularly evident at the Synod. Strongly reconfirming their
faithfulness to the Gospel of the Family and acknowledging that
separation and divorce are always wounds which causes deep suffering to
the married couple and to their children, the synod fathers felt the
urgent need to embark on a new pastoral course based on the present
reality of weaknesses within the family, knowing oftentimes that couples
are more “enduring” situations of suffering than freely choosing them.
These situations vary because of personal, cultural and socio-economic
factors. Therefore, solutions need to be considered in a variety of
ways, as suggested by Pope St. John Paul II (cf.
Familiaris Consortio, 84).
46. All families should, above all, be treated with respect and
love and accompanied on their journey as Christ accompanied the
disciples on the road to Emmaus. In a particular way, the words of Pope
Francis apply in these situations: “The Church will have to initiate
everyone – priests, religious and laity – into this ‘art of
accompaniment’, which teaches us to remove our sandals before the sacred
ground of the other (cf.
Ex 3: 5). The pace of this
accompaniment must be steady and reassuring, reflecting a closeness and
compassion which, at the same time, heals, liberates and encourages
growth in the Christian life” (
Evangelii Gaudium, 169).
47. A special discernment is indispensable for pastorally
guiding persons who are separated, divorced or abandoned. Respect needs
to be primarily given to the suffering of those who have unjustly
endured separation, divorce or abandonment, or those who have been
subjected to the maltreatment of a husband or a wife, which interrupts
their life together. To forgive such an injustice is not easy, but grace
makes this journey possible. Pastoral activity, then, needs to be
geared towards reconciliation or mediation of differences, which might
even take place in specialized “listening centres” established in
dioceses. At the same time, the synod fathers emphasized the necessity
of addressing, in a faithful and constructive fashion, the consequences
of separation or divorce on children, in every case the innocent victims
of the situation. Children must not become an “object” of contention.
Instead, every suitable means ought to be sought to ensure that they can
overcome the trauma of a family break-up and grow as serenely as
possible. In each case, the Church is always to point out the injustice
which very often is associated with divorce. Special attention is to be
given in the guidance of single-parent families. Women in this situation
ought to receive special assistance so they can bear the responsibility
of providing a home and raising their children.
48. A great number of synod fathers emphasized the need to make
the procedure in cases of nullity more accessible and less
time-consuming. They proposed, among others, the dispensation of the
requirement of second instance for confirming sentences; the possibility
of establishing an administrative means under the jurisdiction of the
diocesan bishop; and a simple process to be used in cases where nullity
is clearly evident. Some synod fathers, however, were opposed to this
proposal, because they felt that it would not guarantee a reliable
judgment. In all these cases, the synod fathers emphasized the primary
character of ascertaining the truth about the validity of the marriage
bond. Among other proposals, the role which faith plays in persons who
marry could possibly be examined in ascertaining the validity of the
Sacrament of Marriage, all the while maintaining that the marriage of
two baptized Christians is always a sacrament.
49. In streamlining the procedure of marriage cases, many synod
fathers requested the preparation of a sufficient number of persons —
clerics and lay people — entirely dedicated to this work, which will
require the increased responsibility of the diocesan bishop, who could
designate in his diocese specially trained counselors who would be able
to offer free advice to the concerned parties on the validity of their
marriage. This work could be done in an office or by qualified persons
(cf.
Dignitas Connubii, art. 113, 1).
50. Divorced people who have not remarried, who oftentimes bear
witness to their promise of faithfulness in marriage, ought to be
encouraged to find in the Eucharist the nourishment they need to sustain
them in their present state of life. The local community and pastors
ought to accompany these people with solicitude, particularly when
children are involved or when in serious financial difficulty.
51. Likewise, those who are divorced and remarried require
careful discernment and an accompaniment of great respect. Language or
behavior which might make them feel an object of discrimination should
be avoided, all the while encouraging them to participate in the life of
the community. The Christian community’s care of such persons is not to
be considered a weakening of its faith and testimony to the
indissolubility of marriage, but, precisely in this way, the community
is seen to express its charity.
52. The synod father also considered the possibility of giving
the divorced and remarried access to the Sacraments of Penance and the
Eucharist. Some synod fathers insisted on maintaining the present
regulations, because of the constitutive relationship between
participation in the Eucharist and communion with the Church as well as
the teaching on the indissoluble character of marriage. Others expressed
a more individualized approach, permitting access in certain
situations and with certain well-defined conditions, primarily in
irreversible situations and those involving moral obligations towards
children who would have to endure unjust suffering. Access to the
sacraments might take place if preceded by a penitential practice,
determined by the diocesan bishop. The subject needs to be thoroughly
examined, bearing in mind the distinction between an objective sinful
situation and extenuating circumstances, given that “imputability and
responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by
ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments,
and other psychological or social factors” (
Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1735).
53. Some synod fathers maintained that divorced and remarried
persons or those living together can have fruitful recourse to a
spiritual communion. Others raised the question as to why, then, they
cannot have access “sacramentally”. As a result, the synod fathers
requested that further theological study in the matter might point out
the specifics of the two forms and their association with the theology
of marriage.
54. The problems relative to mixed marriages were frequently
raised in the interventions of the synod fathers. The differences in the
matrimonial regulations of the Orthodox Churches creates serious
problems in some cases, which require due consideration in the work of
ecumenism. Analogously, the contribution of the dialogue with other
religions would be important for interreligious marriages.
Pastoral Attention towards Persons with Homosexual Tendencies
55. Some families have members who have a homosexual tendency.
In this regard, the synod fathers asked themselves what pastoral
attention might be appropriate for them in accordance with the Church’s
teaching: “There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual
unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's plan
for marriage and family.”Nevertheless, men and women with a homosexual
tendency ought to be received with respect and sensitivity. “Every sign
of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided”
)Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,
Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons, 4(.
56. Exerting pressure in this regard on the Pastors of the
Church is totally unacceptable: this is equally so for international
organizations who link their financial assistance to poorer countries
with the introduction of laws which establish “marriage” between persons
of the same sex.
The Transmission of Life and the Challenges of a Declining Birthrate
57. Today, the diffusion of a mentality which reduces the
generation of human life to accommodate an individual’s or couple’s
plans is easily observable. Sometimes, economic factors are burdensome,
contributing to a sharp drop in the birthrate which weakens the social
fabric, thus compromising relations between generations and rendering a
future outlook uncertain. Openness to life is an intrinsic requirement
of married love. In this regard, the Church supports families who
accept, raise and affectionately embrace children with various
disabilities.
58. Pastoral work in this area needs to start with listening to
people and acknowledging the beauty and truth of an unconditional
openness to life, which is needed, if human life is to be lived fully.
This serves as the basis for an appropriate teaching regarding the
natural methods for responsible procreation, which allow a couple to
live, in a harmonious and conscious manner, the loving communication
between husband and wife in all its aspects, along with their
responsibility at procreating life. In this regard, we should return to
the message of the Encyclical
Humanae Vitae of Blessed Pope Paul
VI, which highlights the need to respect the dignity of the person in
morally assessing methods in regulating births. The adoption of
children, orphans and the abandoned and accepting them as one’s own is a
specific form of the family apostolate (cf.
Apostolicam Actuositatem, III, 11), and oftentimes called for and encouraged by the Magisterium (cf.
Familiaris Consortio, III, II;
Evangelium Vitae,
IV, 93). The choice of adoption or foster parenting expresses a
particular fruitfulness of married life, not simply in the case of
sterility. Such a choice is a powerful sign of family love, an occasion
to witness to one’s faith and to restore the dignity of a son or
daughter to a person who has been deprived of this dignity.
59. Affectivity needs assistance, also in marriage, as a path
to maturity in the ever-deepening acceptance of the other and an
ever-fuller gift of self. This necessitates offering programmes of
formation which nourish married life and the importance of the laity
providing an accompaniment, which consists in a life of witness.
Undoubtedly, the example of a faithful and deep love is of great
assistance; a love shown in tenderness and respect; a love which is
capable of growing over time; and a love which, in the very act of
opening itself to the generation of life, creates a transcendent
mystical experience.
Upbringing and the Role of the Family in Evangelization
60. One of the fundamental challenges facing families today is
undoubtedly that of raising children, made all the more difficult and
complex by today’s cultural reality and the great influence of the
media. Consideration, then, needs to be given to the needs and
expectations of families, who are able to bear witness, in their daily
lives, to the family as a place of growth in the concrete and essential
transmission of the virtues which give form to our existence. Parents,
then, are able freely to choose the type of education for their
children, according to their convictions.
61. In this regard, the Church can assume a valuable role in
supporting families, starting with Christian Initiation, by being
welcoming communities. More than ever, these communities today are to
offer support to parents, in complex situations and everyday life, in
their work of raising their children, accompanying children, adolescents
and young people in their development through personalized pastoral
programmes, capable of introducing them to the full meaning of life and
encouraging them in their choices and responsibilities, lived in the
light of the Gospel. Mary, in her tenderness, mercy and maternal
sensitivity can nourish the hunger of humanity and life itself.
Therefore, families and the Christian people should seek her
intercession. Pastoral work and Marian devotion are an appropriate
starting point for proclaiming the Gospel of the Family.
Conclusion
62. These proposed reflections, the fruit of the synodal work
which took place in great freedom and with a spirit of reciprocal
listening, are intended to raise questions and indicate points of view
which will later be developed and clarified through reflection in the
local Churches in the intervening year leading to the XIV Ordinary
General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, scheduled for October, 2015,
to treat
The Vocation and Mission of the Family in the Church and in the Contemporary World.
These are not decisions taken nor are they easy subjects. Nevertheless,
in the collegial journey of the bishops and with the involvement of all
God’s people, the Holy Spirit will guide us in finding the road to
truth and mercy for all. This has been the wish of Pope Francis from the
beginning of our work, when he invited us to be courageous in faith and
to humbly and honestly embrace the truth in charity.
